I. Faulty sentences

1，Our host entertained us with many interesting stories of adventure, he has been a member of an exploration team working in the Arctic.

翻译：我们的主持人用许多有趣的冒险故事来娱乐我们，他是北极探险团队的一员。
分析：缺少因果关系
修改：Our host entertained us with many interesting stories of adventure, because he has been a member of an exploration team working in the Arctic.

2，When I woke up I saw him asleep in bed, I had not heard him when he came back. Because I had been sleeping soundly.

翻译：当我醒来时，我看到他躺在床上睡觉，当他回来时，我没有听到他的声音。因为我一直睡得很香。
分析：because不可以单独做句子，即不可以单独成段放在句首开头。
修改：When I woke up I saw him asleep in bed, I had not heard him when he came back,because I had been sleeping soundly.

3，Liu always did his work a little better than his fellow workers, that was why he got higher pay than others.

翻译：刘的工作总是比同事好一点，所以他的工资比别人高。
分析：did his work与his fellow workers刘做的工作和他的同事做的工作进行比较、got higher pay和others刘得到的工资和其他同事的工资进行比较
修改：Liu always did his work a little better than his fellow workers did,and that was why he got higher pay than others got.

4，No student could answer that question, even Tom, who was usually quick in answering questions, was silent.

翻译：没有学生能回答这个问题，连通常回答问题很快的汤姆也沉默。
分析：even不能当连词使用，可使用even if来代替。
修改：No student could answer that question. Even if Tom, who was usually quick in answering questions, was silent.

5，The old man hunched forward. His head tilted at any angle. His eyes half closed, looking very sleepy.

翻译：老人弯着腰。他的头歪着。他的眼睛半闭着。他看上去很困倦。
分析：tilting 与 looking 形态一致、可以合并成一句话。
修改：The old man hunched forward, with his head tilting at any angle, his eyes half closed,and he looking very sleepy.

6，Their work was well planned, everybody worked with great enthusiasm, thus, they over fulfilled their quota.

翻译：他们的工作计划得很好，每个人都很热情，结果他们超出了配额。
分析：缺少连词，使用and进行连接。
修改：Their work was well planned, and everybody worked with great enthusiasm, thus, they over fulfilled their quota.

7，Mark Twain, a well-known American writer, whose experience as a pilot on a steamboat was no doubt an important factor that helped him to become a famous writer.

翻译：马克·吐温，一位美国著名作家，他在汽船上的飞行员的经验无疑是帮助他成为著名作家的一个重要因素。
分析：whose—>American writer—>Mark Twain，不需要插入语。
修改：Mark Twain is a well-known American writer, whose experience as a pilot on a steamboat was no doubt an important factor that helped him to become a famous writer.

II. Incomplete or Choppy sentences

1，The houses were mere shanties, and rags were stuffed in the cracks and holes.

翻译：这房子是个棚屋，裂缝和洞里塞满了破布
分析：用破布塞满了裂缝和洞
修改：The houses were mere shanties, with rags stuffed in the cracks and holes.

2，I read the novel on the train, which did not interest me at all.

翻译：我在火车上读了这本小说，但我一点也不感兴趣。
分析：原先的非限制性定语从句中which指代的是逗号前面的train，但真正的主语是我，这里不需要使用非限制性定语从句。
修改：On the train I read the novel which did not interest me at all.

3，A well-dressed man admitted us to the house, and we later learned that he was thief.

翻译：一个穿着讲究的人让我们进了房子，后来我们知道他是小偷。
分析：我们被一个穿着考究的人允许进入房子，后来才知道他是个小偷。
修改：We were admitted to the house by a well-dressed man,who was a thief as we learned later

4，On entering the room, no one was seen.

翻译：一走进房间，没有看见一个人
分析：缺少主语
修改：On entering the room, I saw no one.

5，Fred is energetic, capable, and a man you can rely on.

翻译：弗雷德精力充沛，有能力，是一个你可以信赖的人。
分析：energetic、capable都是形容词，and起到并列作用，后面也应该跟一个形容词
修改：Fred is energetic, capable, and reliable.

6，The children promised to be careful and that they would return home early.

翻译：孩子们答应要小心，而且要早点回家。
分析：promised to be 和 and之后的that 重复、promised 和 return 形态一致。
修改：The children promised to be careful and returned home early.

7，My watch is either fast or yours is slow.

翻译：要么我的手表快，要么你的手表慢。
分析：either … or 应该放在句首，表示要么…要么…
修改：Either my watch is fast or yours is slow.

8，Glancing out of the window, a beautiful view attracted my attention.

翻译：看着窗外，一幅美丽的景色吸引了我的注意。
分析：施动者是 我，应该是我被美丽的景色吸引了。
修改：Glancing out of the window,I was attracted by a beautiful view.

9，If interested in painting, a course can be taken at the evening school.

翻译：如果对绘画感兴趣，可以在夜校上一门课程。
分析：缺少主语
修改：If interested in painting, you can take a course can be taken at the evening school.

10，One cannot think well, love well, have a good sleep, if one has not dined well.

翻译：如果一个人吃得不好，他就不能好好思考，好好爱，睡个好觉。
分析：think well、love well，使用and起到并列作用，故后面的句子需改成sleep well
修改：One cannot think well, love well, and sleep well, if one has not dined well.

III. Concision（简洁）

1，At the present time I am taking the course of World History and in addition a course in Geography too.

翻译：目前，我正在学习世界历史的课程，以及一门地理学的课程。
分析：累赘，句子冗余
修改：At the present I am taking the course of World History and a course in Geography.

2，The plane circled around the airport for about ten minutes or so and then disappeared and could no longer be seen.

翻译：飞机在机场盘旋了大约10分钟，然后消失了，再也不见了。
分析：about和or so 以及 then disappeared 和 could no longer be seen 表达意思相同，重复
修改：After circling the airport for about ten minutes, the plane disappeared.

3，In that country violent death has become a common place thing, a thing that occurs every day.

翻译：在那个国家，暴力死亡已经成为一种常见的事情，一种每天都在发生的事情。
分析：a common place thing 和 a thing that 表达意思相同，重复
修改：In that country violent death has become a common place thing, which occurs every day.

4，One reason why people are well informed in this country is because of the fact that there are many newspapers which can easily be bought or subscribed to.

翻译：这个国家的人们消息灵通的一个原因是，有许多报纸可以很容易地购买或订阅。
分析：One reason 和 because of the fact that 表达意思相同，重复
修改：One reason why people are well informed in this country is there are many newspapers which can easily be bought or subscribed to.

5，His name is called James Williams.

翻译：他的名字叫詹姆斯·威廉姆斯。
分析：①他叫詹姆斯·威廉姆斯 、②他被叫做詹姆斯·威廉姆斯
修改：
①His name is James Williams.
②His is called James Williams.

IV. Variety

1，

I got up a little later than usual on Sunday morning.I washed and had a quick breakfast.Then I started going to town to buy the dictionary recommended by the teacher.

翻译：星期天早上我起床比平时晚一点。我洗了洗澡，吃了一顿快早餐。然后我开始去城里买老师推荐的字典。
分析：句子不连贯，用after和and连词连接，
修改：I got up a little later than usual on Sunday morning,after washed and had a quick breakfast,and I started going to town to buy the dictionary recommended by the teacher.

At the school gate I saw Li Ping. I asked him if he was going to town too, and he said that he was. So we decided to go together.

翻译：在学校门口，我看到了李平。问他是否也要去城里，他说他也要去了。所以我们决定一起去
分析：重复代词过多
修改：At the school gate I saw Li Ping,who was going to town too, so we decided to go together.

All the buses were crowded. We had to wait for a long time at the bus stop before we could get on a bus.

翻译：所有的公共汽车上都挤满了人。我们不得不在汽车站等了很长时间才出发才能上车。
分析：因果关系，Since连接、句子可合并
修改：Since all the buses were crowded, we had to wait for a long time at the bus stop before we could get on a bus.

An hour later we got off the bus at a busy street.There were three bookstores there. We went to the first one and didn’t find the dictionary. We went to the second one and the shop assistant said that the dictionary was sold out. I finally bought the dictionary at third bookstore.

翻译：一小时后，我们在一条繁忙的街道上下车。那里有三家书店。我们去了第一个，没有找到字典。我们去看了第二本书，店员说字典已经卖光了。我终于在第三家书店买了一本字典。
分析：啰嗦，直接前两个书店没有直到第三家才买到即可、先后顺序、地点状语从句
修改：An hour later we got off the bus at a busy street,where there were three bookstores there. We went to the first two and didn't find the dictionary. Finally it was in the third that we bought it.

After that Li Ping and I went to other stores and bought various things. We returned to school just in time for lunch.

翻译：之后，我和李平去了其他商店，买了各种各样的东西。我们及时回到学校去吃午饭。
分析：after that可用then代替 言简意赅、由于与前句主语一致，可合并省略
修改：Then, after going to other stores and bought various things,we returned to school just in time for lunch.

2，

Ludwig van Beethoven overcame many personal problems to achieve artistic greatness.He was a major composer of the 19th century.

翻译：2.路德维希·范·贝多芬克服了许多个人问题，获得了艺术上的伟大。是19世纪的主要作曲家。
分析：句子冗余可合并、使用插入语效果更加简洁
修改：Ludwig van Beethoven, who was a major composer of the nineteenth century, overcoming many personal problems to achieved artistic greatness.

He was born in Bonn, Germany, in 1770 and first studied music with a court organist. His father was excessively strict and given to heavy drinking.His mother died when he was a young man. He was named guardian of his two younger brothers.

翻译：他于1770年出生在德国波恩，第一次跟随一名宫廷管风琴师学习音乐。他的父亲过于严格，经常酗酒。他的母亲在他年轻时就去世了。他被任命为他的两个弟弟的监护人。
分析：句子冗余、因果关系、主语一致可合并
修改：He was born in Bonn, Germany, in 1770 and first studied music with a court organist.His father was excessively strict and given to heavy drinking and his mother died when he was a young man.Thus, he was named guradian of his two younger brothers.

He was appointed deputy court organist at a surprisingly early age in 1782. He also played the harpsichord and the viola.

翻译：1782年，他在出人意料的早年就被任命为副法院管风琴手。他还演奏了羽管键琴和中提琴。
分析：可合并、语序调整
修改：He was appointed deputy court organist at a surprisingly early age in 1782, and he alse played the harpsichord and the viola.

He went to Vienna in 1792 to study music under Haydn. He remained unmarried.He was troubled by financial worries throughout his adult life.He was also continually plagued by ill health.

翻译：1792年，他去维也纳跟随海顿学习音乐。他仍然未婚。他成年后的一生都被经济问题所困扰。他的健康状况也一直不好。
分析：not only…but also…、合并句子
修改：In 1792, Beethoven went to Vienna to study music under Haydn.Not only did he remained unmarried, but also was troubled by financial worries and continually plagued by ill health.

He became deaf in 1818 because of an ear infection. His writing of music continued, however, in spite of this handicap.

翻译：1818年，他因耳朵感染而失聪。然而，尽管有这个障碍，他的音乐创作仍在继续。
分析：时间提前、句子合并
修改：In 1818, he became deaf because of an ear infection,however,his writing of music continued.

Goethe said that Beethoven had an “untamed personality.” This may have been true, but his music shows great discipline and control.

翻译：歌德说，贝多芬有一种“不被驯服的个性”。这可能是真的，但他的音乐表现出了伟大的纪律性和控制力。
分析：使用非限制性定语从句
修改：Goethe said. Beethoven had an “untamed personality”,which may have been true,but his music shows great discipline and control.